January 28th - Fast Boat to Phnom Penh

Alarm call in the dark this morning as we have to get sorted and clear the cabins by 7 am. We have enjoyed having three nights in the same room, particularly as it easily the best accommodation of the trip. The sunrise is invisible and there is a covering of grey cloud. We take breakfast at one of the open air tables and enjoy the breeze while we wait for what has been described as a 'speedboat' to arrive and take us up river to the capital of Cambodia. This is scheduled to take five hours including passport formalities.

When said boat arrives it has an enclosed cabin and a rear deck with open sides and a canopy. Our luggage gets loaded in a hold underneath the rear. There is just enough room for us all to be seated in the cabin which is like a very cosy coach with limited headroom. At least the windows open to allow in a bit of air. We get under way and the ship's boy issues Application Forms for Cambodian Visas and a different form in two sections for recording arrivals and departures. We are asked to fill these in although some of the information requested is not available. Some of the group complete the forms in black ink to be told that they must start again using blue ink. By a stroke of good fortune the pen that D is carrying in his day pack is blue.

Having had the homework checked D is allowed to go out on the after deck but not for long. After about twenty minutes the power comes off and the boat glides in to moor at the Vietnamese border post. Our passports, paperwork and US $34 per head is collected and we are ushered into a waiting area/cafe/money changers. The temperature is getting quite sweaty and the room is not well ventilated. D changes his loose change Vietnamese dong into Cambodian Riels which means we can have a mug of Hot Lipton apiece. As we wait the room gets more and more crowded as more speedboats full of people arrive. After about half an hour we are called back to the boat. Our ship's boy is carrying a bag containing all of the paperwork.

The boat roars up the river for about five minutes and then pulls up at a jetty with a sign that tells us that it is the Cambodian Border Post. Here we hang around for another half hour until our passports are handed back to us and we have to queue up to get them stamped several times. Somewhere along the way a paper visa has been pasted in, valid for a month and bearing the endorsement 'Employment not permitted' . That's a relief.

Back on the boat we power on at an estimated 55 - 60 kph. The boat's speedometer is broken. On the Cambodian side of the border there is markedly less river traffic and the river banks are mainly open fields with much less afforestation than in Vietnam. We travel for about an hour before we see a town or any signs of industry. We only see one very modern bridge over the river and ferries are few and far between. About two and a half hours the high rise cityscape of Phnom Penh materialises through the haze. There are tower cranes everywhere.

We disembark and help the crew unload the luggage. Of a guide there is not a sniff but there only appears to be one way to go so we take it. Eventually a man introduces himself as Hong, our guide and he points us to a bus where we divest ourselves of the bags before retracing our steps to the Titanic Restaurant. Here we are shown to seats on an airy terrace with a canopy. There is a small stage with a roneat ek player and there is draught beer so it is the perfect Sunday Lunch venue. There is even a performance by a  costumed dancer. The food delivered bears no relation at all to what is listed on the set menu but it is very good.

After lunch the day gets rather heavy as we visit one of Pol Pot's prisons that is now the Genocide Museum and then drive out of the city to one of the Killing Fields. What happened in Cambodia in the 1970s was just appalling and the history is laid out with no attempt to water down the misery. There were no laughs on the coach this afternoon and some tears were shed. We were pretty quiet and thoughtful as the coach crawled through the rush hour traffic to our hotel. This is opposite the US Embassy and nowhere near anything useful like a SIM card shop. Despite information to the contrary the Viettel card will not work in Cambodia. This may cause problems with posting, only time will tell.

By the time we get to the Subway Hotel we are all hot, sweaty and grumpy. Hong tells us to be ready to go out for dinner in 35 minutes. We are still waiting for suitcases and there is a mutiny. He finally concedes a further 15 minutes as the bags arrive. We debate whether to skip dinner but decide to go ahead. Only 22 out of our party show up. The other eight miss a treat. We take a short coach ride to the Grand Palais Hotel which looks OK. There are two long tables set up in a high ceilinged dining room.

From the off it is clear that there is a language problem. Drinks are ordered but only some arrive. Some people are ignored as the try to order drinks. The food is pretty poor. Crunchy dried fish salad, tepid prawn and tofu soup without any prawns, chicken with over cooked Pak choi and a disgusting dessert called Pumpkin Custards. The only decent bits were the deep fried battered hard boiled eggs in tamarind sauce and the fried fish with ginger. The staff keep delivering stuff to the tables but never remove anything. It is as if none of them hads ever worked in a restaurant before and there appears to be nobody in charge. It is so inept that we can only laugh.

January 27th - D succumbs to International Pressure.

At last the sun is shining. At breakfast there is a bit of a scramble to get shady side tables to avoid the heat. What a contrary bunch we are. The buffet breakfast on the boat includes phō. In order to keep the audience happy D goes for it today. A few bean sprouts, some soggy noodles, a sprinkling of chopped leaves of some kind and a solitary prawn sit in a bowl and have steaming hot salt water poured over them. Hmm. A bit messy to eat and not as filling as porridge.

After breakfast we dock at a small landing stage on Tan Thuan Dong island, known also as mango island. Here we have the option of a bike ride and D goes for that while R takes the walking option. We ride along concrete paths about six feet wide, that mainly follow the line of a levee which protects the orchards from the incursion of sea water. The farmers have protected the mangos from birds and pests by climbing the trees and putting paper bags over each individual fruit. Birds can be heard but, apart from a small flock of cormorants perched on a power line and a few Swift's chasing insects over the water we have seen nothing.

It is Saturday and appears not to be a schoolday as lots of local children are about and they all wave and shout "Hello" at us. We respond in kind. When a halt is called we spot some teenage girls taking photos of us with  their tablets. They get all shy when we turn our cameras on them. The paved way doesn't have much traffic and what there is gives us a pretty wide berth. The houses look very prosperous and the main activity appears to be sorting and packing mangos. At last a Collared Kingfisher is spotted. The bright turquoise blue bird streaks along the creek and comes to rest on a branch with its less spectacular white front facing us. These birds are a Mekong signature species but have been elusive on this trip.

Our cycle circuit of the island takes just over an hour. There is a small cafe close to our boat's mooring where we wait for the walking party and and sample some kind of herb tea as well as a variety of local fruits. Rose apples are crunchy and refreshing, guavas need a bit of spice to give them flavour and lychees look like eyeballs when you peel them. The walkers return having had an interesting time viewing a place where fish are sun-dried on tables and another where fighting cocks are kept in individual cages. For such nice people they have some disturbing pastimes.

Dien is taking his leave of us at this point so he is thanked in the customary manner. He leaves us in the care of Lee, the boat's hospitality manager who prides himself in his English English. Not American. For the first time on the tour we have some complete down time. Nothing to do until lunch which is two and a half hours away. D wanders to the front of the boat where things are controlled from a deckhouse, looking for a photo. He is invited in and gets a shot at steering. 

The private balcony comes into its own. Shady with a breeze - the ideal place to sit in one's pants and watch the world go by. After lunch we have more free time. The crew are keen to keep up with the Final of the Asian Under 23 Football tournament in China where Vietnam are playing Uzbekistan. Their plans may be slightly thwarted by the Cookery Class that is scheduled for 4 pm, halfway through the game. Uzbekistan score after eight minutes but Vietnam hit back and equalise just before half time. The cheers of the crew reverberate around the boat.

Lee introduces the boat's two chefs who have unpronounceable names spelled Chiou and Trangh that sound identical when Lee speaks. The lesson today is savoury pancakes made with rice flour. Lee commentates while the two chefs do the hands on stuff. We sense a little tension. One chef is from the north and one from the south and apparently there is a geographical divide on how to make the perfect savoury pancake. Once a compromise is reached they show us how to make the batter and, while that stands, they cook a couple of fillings, one based on pork mince and the other on finely chopped prawn meat. 

Once the fillings are ready a fresh pan appears and a ladle full of batter poured. Once this starts to solidify the filling is spooned onto one side of the base and then the whole thing rolled with chopsticks. This must have been a fluke as they make quite a mess of the next two and resort to a fish slice. The audience are invited to have a go and R steps up and does a very neat job that looks like the photo on a packet of Findus frozen savoury pancakes. It tastes fine, especially with a bit of fish sauce. The boys have not missed too much football as the match has to be delayed at half time to clear snow off the pitch. 

By the time the sunset cocktail party on the foredeck kicks off the match has moved into extra time. For once we actually see the sun going down in a blaze of colour. It all ends in tragedy as Uzbekistan introduce a substitute with  two minutes to play and he scores a winner in the last minute. At supper the crew are pretty downbeat and we tell them that we are sharing their pain. Supper tonight is beef in a green peppercorn sauce and more chips. All day without a spring roll! Our meal has a bit of a Last Supper feel to it which is strange as we still have four days to go. Lee gives us a brief about paying our bills and being ready in the morning before reminding us that tips are accepted in any currency.

January 26th - Excursions, Excursions, Excursions

One thing missing from yesterday's blog is the fact that our boat is a shoe free zone and we have to go barefoot around the decks. In less than 24 hours this has started to feel totally natural.

We wake as the boat's engine kicks in at around 05.45. It is still dark so we lie in bed watching through the panoramic window as it becomes light. The boat is cruising along one of the lesser channels, close to the habitations that line this stretch of water. The breakfast call is at 07.00 and the day's activities start at 08.00.  No rest for the wicked. Breakfast is a buffet with eggs cooked to order, plenty of fresh fruit and best of all, a young man to cook toast for us. Elsewhere we have had to hang around the toaster, feeding slices through several times and defending them from predators. The Mekong Eyes Explorer glides along serenely as we polish off said toast.

At eight prompt a 30 seater 'tourist boat' pulls up alongside and we climb aboard for the short trip to the mouth of a creek. A fleet of long rowing boats appears and each couple is allocated to one. The rowers stand at the stern and appear to apply themselves very languidly but we keep making progress. We hear birds twittering in the trees above but apart from a couple of brief sightings of Coucals we fail to get an ID on anything. On the mudflats there are plenty of small mudskippers but they refuse to hang around for photos. Eventually the creek becomes so shallow and narrow that punting with the oars becomes necessary. Suddenly we emerge into the main channel next to the tourist boat and our jaunt is over.

Our next dose of fun is a visit to a large riverside shack in a town called Cai Be. The small boat crosses the main channel and then turns up a branch waterway that is basically the high street of the town. We pass a floating market with boats selling fruit & veg. Dien tells us that the markets have drastically reduced in size over recent years as bridges have been built and roads improved. These days the locals prefer to go shopping on a two wheeler rather than in a boat. There are still plenty of businesses that front onto the river including convenience stores, chicken sellers and even a couple of shops selling coffins.

The place we tie up at is some kind of tourist orientated food factory cum gift shop. We are given a demonstration of how coconuts are processed that ultimately ends in a rather chewy toffee as well as coir matting, fuel for stoves and dessicated coconut. Next up is the chance to watch rice paper being hand made by an extraordinarily skilled lady.  After this we are shown how to pop rice using a cauldron on a fire, some sand and a garden sieve. The tour winds up with a cup of tea and samples of various products before we are let loose in the showroom.

This bout of retail frenzy is brought to an end by the call to embark. This time we sail out of the town and land near a small village where the choice is walk and visit an ancient house or take a cycle ride. The caveat is that the roads are narrow, full of two wheelers and the island we are visiting tomorrow is a much better place to do it. The bikes are stacked at the back of the boat and when eleven hardy souls opt in the crew lift enough bikes onshore. We opt for the walk which takes us by some rather grand houses and some colorful gardens. Dien calls a halt at one place where two ladies are wrapping rice and black beans into banana leaves. These are then cooked and stored for a couple of weeks to be eaten as part of the New Year celebration meal. The ladies cut one of the parcels that has already been cooked open for us to try. The rice has a green colour and is exceptionally sticky even by local standards. For a special meal it lags well behind turkey.

The ancient house turns out to have been built around 1825 and is one of several in this village. It was the home of a family who had adopted Chinese culture and is still furnished and decorated in that style. Lots of dark wood and inlaid mother of pearl. The gardens are very pleasant with some lotus plants and a pond full of enormous catfish. When we return to the boat it is clear that we have had a better deal than the cyclists. 

Back at the mother ship there is barely time for a refreshment before lunch is called. Soup, grilled prawns, huge fillets of unidentified fish in honey and lemon sauce and crunchy green beans keep us busy for a while. An hour on our balcony is the perfect aid to digestion as we sit and watch the various types of vessel pass by. There are barges carrying huge loads of sand dredged from the river. These are so low in the water that disaster appears imminent. There are boats with loads of logs as well as cut bamboo, decorative trees, a special boat designed to carry live fish and enormous rice carriers. 

Over lunch and after our cruiser has moved westward towards the town of Sa Dec where we have a visit scheduled for this afternoon. Dien gives us a briefing about what to expect and tells us that the locals consider rats to be a delicacy. We are not sure if he is having us on but it may explain why 10 out of 30 of the group opt out this afternoon. We visit a Chinese merchant's house that became the childhood home of the woman who wrote the story that was filmed as L'Amant. French and apparently a bit spicy. After a quick stop at a Chinese temple we get to the market,  the biggest that we have seen yet. It is the usual kaleidoscope of colour and noise with extra two wheelers. We treat ourselves to a custard apple for later. All too soon it is time to get back for complimentary sundown cocktails. It's a hard life.

Dinner is served promptly at 7.00 pm. It is the first meal on board that is slightly disappointing. If you are ever offered Mekong Fish Cakes don't set your hopes too high. The highlight was the pea flower salad, colourful and tasty. After supper we retire to our suite and to watch the river. There are dots of light everywhere, some of them moving quite quickly. The river doesn't sleep.

January 25th - To the Mekong

Our alarm goes off at 06.15 and reminds us that we are working to somebody else's schedule again. Shower, finish packing, quick breakfast, checkout and on parade with luggage at 07.45. Nobody has absconded but the total pile of luggage appears to have grown. Yesterday must have been a good day for traders at the Bhen Tahn market. Once again one item of our luggage stays on the pavement until everything else has been loaded. Nobody is willing to get on the coach until they see their bags onboard so D is last to get on.

The drive out of Saigon is a crawl between the motorbikes, punctuated by traffic lights and badly parked trucks. After about forty five minutes we reach the edge of the city and the start of the Expressway that leads out to the Mekong Delta. This benefits from a two wheeler ban and we make good progress. R has taken travel sickness pills and is totally zonked out, D gets the blog posts up to date. After twelve days 1.6 Gb of the 20 Gb of data purchased has been used. We will have to start streaming movies to make sure that we don't waste it.

There is a brief pause at a service area where the sound system is playing dodgy cover versions of the Shadows greatest hits. D reckons that he could make a better job of Apache. Back on the road we have run out of Expressway and are back on the regular highway with its continuous ribbon development. Lumbering trucks and motorcyclists with a death wish make progress tortuous. Our driver moves his head from side to side continuously trying to make sure that he misses nothing in his mirrors.  We pass over a large suspension bridge that crosses one of the larger arms of the Mekong River. We are told that it was built by Australians. Half an hour later we cross an even bigger bridge built by the Japanese. From the span we can see the city of Can Tho which is our immediate destination.

The  bus pulls up in some kind of function/entertainment complex by the river. A squad of young men clad in grey tee shirts watch our coach eagerly. We are asked to check that our bags are unloaded from the coach and then move to the boat. For once ours appears quickly and we follow the guide onto a rather smart looking cruiser called the Mekong Eyes Explorer, and up onto the foredeck where we are invited to take a seat and a welcome drink. One of the crew gives us a briefing and then starts to hand out room keys as the boat gets under way. R gets in quickly to bag a double rather than the twin bedded rooms that we have had so far. This turns out to be an inspired move as we are allocated what is described as a suite, with a spacious bedroom incorporating a window seat, a good sized bathroom and a private balcony.  A total winner for the next three nights.

Rivers and creeks are clearly a key part of the transport system around here. There are other cruisers including some built in an older style. Our crew tell us the boat we are on has better facilities. Every mile or so there seems to be a small ferry, large enough for foot passengers and two wheelers, that connects the two banks. The local boats traditionally have two eyes painted on the bow and there are lots of less traditional vessels such as dredgers and large barges laden high with shipping containers.

The grey army deliver our luggage and then it is time for lunch. This involves more do it yourself spring rolls followed by chicken cooked in honey. We need a short snooze to recover from this and prepare ourselves for the afternoon's activity which is a village walk. The boat goes nose in to the bank of the river and the crew then rig up a rather shoogly gangplank above the murky Mekong. Much hilarity ensues as we cross onto terra firma. We start by visiting a small local market. Business is almost done for the day but a few traders are still in situ. The less well travelled of our fellow passengers recoil from one of the stalls with its bowls of live fish and move quickly past the man selling dried fish.

If they thought that looked pretty revolting there is more to come. Dien shows us a bucket full of squirming grubs, about the thickness of a finger. These are a pest that bores into coconut trees with fatal consequences for the tree. Somewhere along the line the locals have developed a taste for these, eating them live and raw in a special sauce. Our walk continues along a narrow track by the riverside, passing various dwellings from bamboo shacks to a brickbuilt mansion. We see all sorts of fruit trees including banana, papaya, rose apple, coconut, kumquat and pomelo. The big earner in these parts is rice and we see a big field, just starting to turn yellow which will be ready to harvest in a week's time.

Back on the boat it is time for a rice wine cocktail before getting ready for dinner. Tonight is Burns Night but there is no haggis. Instead we get spring rolls and delicious sea bass followed by chocolate cake. The bar prices are a bit eye watering so we retire to our suite for a nightcap.